Preliminary post

Why start this blog? Well maybe it just feels like the thing to do, or maybe im looking for strength and support. Possibly I’m looking for motivation (from which I thrive) to keep me going, or maybe I’m just wasting time. Whatever the reason.. here it is and be what it may I hope it lasts. I can’t count how many times I told myself “if I just lost the weight I could keep it off no problem”. Frankly I’m tired of saying things like that. I'm tired of always worrying about Fat Man Syndrome (sweaty pits or back even when in a cool environment). I'm tired of being tired all the time (much better now with the Apnea machine), speaking of which I'm tired of having sleep apnea (which I know I could still have if I weighed 150 lbs but my current weight isn’t helping it any). I'm tired of not being able to sit in those cool fabric folding chairs and I'm tired of getting tired when playing with my daughter. For the majority of my life I have struggled with my weight. Diets never worked, exercise never lasted and cutting back always lead to cheating. Fluctuating between mildly overweight to “ya, I need to lose a few” to “whoa fatty slow up on the mashed potatoes” has lead to a lot of lies and false justifications. Working in an office environment only exacerbates the issue. I've tried twice now to cut out soda but have slid back on the bad foot both times. I look at pictures of myself in High school and its a completely different person. I want to wear the half of the clothes in my closet that I currently cant fit into. I want to stop sucking it in all the time. I want to be able to take my shirt off without feeling ashamed. I want the bathroom scale to tell me how much i weight instead of Error-ing out and I want to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle someday. My BP and cholesterol are kinda high, lower than the Dr thought it would be but that's no excuse to stay heavy. I'm on a crash course to an embolism, stroke or worse and need to do something for not only myself but my family. As I get older I can already feel the toll this weight is taking on my body and I need to do something quickly.

So.. here I am. Taking the first steps toward a better life. Its going to require dedication and a lot of commitment but here is where the support and motivation come in. I need to just look at my little princess and the wifey currently carrying our second to know Ive got all the motivation and drive I need but the more the better.

I would enjoy any support you can give and here's to seeing you on the other side as a better, thinner person!